Depths

The human heart can only take so much at one time. I used to think I was invincible. I think we all have. When exactly does that moment strike when you realize "I'm not any different"? It's quite sobering. The arrogance of my youth has finally betrayed me. It is a realization that is both incredibly dark, but enthralling all at the same time. I feel as though I've stepped into the cage with a tiger. The folly of my innocence would have thought nothing of this feat. She would have KNOWN somehow that the tiger couldn't possibly hurt her. Now, I have seen enough tigers in action to know exactly what I'm up against. There is just enough naivety to believe that the tiger MIGHT let me out alive, but the exhilaration of the proximity of the beast is enticing. The dance...the carnality of it is somehow sparking that innocence again in a light all anew. Yet now, the darkness accompanies this exhilaration. This is no longer a game. Not in the sense that I could walk away the same as I walked in. I have grown weary of the fear of the tiger. I have watched it stalk it's prey. I have seen it's strength...yet have I not also grown in strength? Have I not fought battles I've won with scars to remind me? The doubt...the strength...the remaining arrogance. These heady emotions have led me to the cage. I feel it close behind me. Clank. Decision made. A low growl issues from the mouth of the beast. Fear attempts to course through my veins and meets with cold resolve. The dance has begun.